well....they've arrived!!
Fr. Clemens and Mathilde have been here for three whole days and what a joy it has been sharing our life, getting to know them, and living this new beginning with them as siblings in this family, colleagues in this school of love and service.
They arrived a little delayed on their bus from Nice, France into Vienna. We picked them up with Monika in her car on her way to University. The car was so full there was no room for my legs :)
We had brunch together, got to know one another, took some time that day to relax and for them to unpack and get situated. Later on we went on a walk through our neighborhood and through the city center to Stephansdom where we took them into our Cathedral for the first time. Of course, it was freezing cold and rainy and it was a shock for them, being used to the beautiful, sunny, and warm weather in the South of France (oh isn't that nice).
Monika joined us for dinner, and Alina and I prepared an authentic fall, Austrian dinner
which included me cutting and cooking a real pumpkin for the first time
(I am a true American--Ive only ever cooked with pumpkin out of a can)
it was funny to be cutting into a pumpkin and not carving it, but the smell was so nice and brought back many Halloween memories, and of course the pumpkin seeds we later cooked were delicious!! :)
and then over the weekend I took a "Wüstentag"... I think it was my first official one. I stayed with the sisters of the St. John Community just a half hour with the train outside of Vienna in Marchegg. It was a beautiful but cold weekend in the cloister. Most of the time I spent in silence and alone in my room or in the chapel praying. But on Saturday I got to spend a little time reading and praying with Sr. Anna Sophia who is the "Guest Sister" and then today before I left we said the rosary together. It was wonderful to get to know her better and to spend time out of the city in silence and prayer. Of course, these kinds of days are always hard for me...silence, prayer, alone...you have to face alot of things you can easily brush aside in the day to day life with your plans and things to do. There there was no running away. And it helped me realize a lot about where I am, where I want to be (in life, my relationship with God, my relationship with my community, my life with Heart's Home) and all the things I need to do or simply do better. So lets just say a "Desert day" is not so much a rest day for me. Its kind of like vacation...don't you always feel at the end of a vacation like you need a vacation from your vacation? I feel like I need a rest day from my desert day. But here we go again....into the next week!
Just wanted to share a homily of Fr. Augustin-Marie (Hermann Cohen)'s with you, which I discovered while I was "in the desert"...
from a homily given in St. Sulpice in Paris
April 24, 1854
...
"I have traveled the world. I have loved the world. I have learnt one thing about the world - you don't find happiness there. And you, brethren, have you found it? Can you say you are happy? Do you not want anything? It seems to me I can hear a sad chorus of sighs all around. I seem to hear the unanimous cry of suffering humanity:
'Happiness, where are you? Tell me where you are hidden and I will search for you, hold you, and possess you."
I have looked for happiness. I have searched in cities and crossed the seas to find it. I have searched for happiness among the beauties of nature; I have sought it in the elegant life of salons, in the giddy pleasures of balls and banquets. I have sought it through the accumulation of money, in the excitement of gambling, in the hazards of adventure, in trying to satisfy my burning ambitions. I have looked for it in the renown of the artist, in the friendships of famous people and in all the pleasures of sense and spirit. Finally I looked for it in the fidelity of a friend, that incessant dream of every heart. This happiness, dear God, was there anywhere I failed to seek it? How can one explain this mystery to oneself? For human beings are made for happiness. They mystery is that most people don't know in what happiness consists. They look for it where it doesn't exist. Well then, listen. I have found happiness. I possess it. I enjoy it so fully that I am able to say with the great apostle, "I am overflowing with joy." My heart brims over with happiness, and I cannot contain it within me. I wanted to leave my solitude in order to come and find you and tell you, I am overflowing with joy. Yes, I am so happy that I come to offer it to you, I come to entreat you to share with me this overflowing happiness.
But you object, "I don't believe in Jesus Christ."
I too did not believe, and that is precisely why I was unhappy. Faith shows us happiness in God and in Jesus Christ his son. It is a mystery which pride cannot grasp. But to find Jesus Christ one must watch and pray. Scripture says, 'happy is the man who watches at the doors day and night.' That is to say, who watches at the door of his heart to find Jesus Christ.
The great Theresa sought in prayer the eternal light which illumined her. So, pray, ask and you will receive this intoxicating wine of immortality which flows from the winepress of prayer. Prayer imparts faith, sheds light through prayer which, united to faith, imparts peace, love, wisdom, light, freedom--all of which are contained in Jesus Christ. It is not possible for someone who does not love Jesus Christ to be happy. This son of God who is God himself, in whom the Father is well-pleased, and he has given him to us. So much did God love the world. In spite of him being the unspeakable happiness of the blessed, he descended from heaven out of love for mankind and became man. God made himself like us in order to make himself one with us for our salvation. It was for mankind alone that he led a life of privation and suffering and that he died in agony and finally rose again. He gave himself up for us - can you be surprised after that that there is a hell.
One stormy night I found myself lost in a range of steep mountains surrounded on all sides by frightful precipices. The thunder rolled and the wind raged uprooting ancient trees. I was thrown down with great violence. Suddenly in the side of a neighboring mountain, a flash of lightning revealed to me the little golden door in a granite hollow. My courage revived in the hope of finding a resting place and a helping hand. I dragged myself breathlessly through the brambles and through water all disheveled, knocked the door open and a young man, clothed in majesty and with graciousness on his lips appeared on the threshold and introduced me to his mysterious abode. Immediately the sound of the storm abated and I was restored to peace. An unseen hand removed my mudsplattered cloak, and plunged me in a refreshing bath where I found strength and health. This bath, not only removed every stain of the journey, but also healed my wounds, filling my veins with new life. He renewed the joy of my youth. The perfume he emitted was so exquisite that I wished to know where it came from. Think of my amazement to see beside me the handsome young man who had opened the door to me. He held out his hand and in each there was a deep wound from which the blood was flowing. I looked at him and looked at myself and I saw that I was bathed in the young man's blood. This blood filled me with such inner strength that I felt ready to face a thousand storms even worse than the one I have just described. And i was even more surprised when his blood, far from making me turn red, made me strikingly white instead, whiter indeed than snow. Gratitude and love began to stir in my heart. I was hungry, I was thirsty - the fatigue and struggles of my journey had drained me, but he made me sit down to a banquet, in a brightly lit festive hall - though I could see no lamps there. The young man himself was the lamp there and rays of light shown from his face. I was hungry, and I was thirsty. He gave me bread and said to me, "eat this". He offered me a cup saying to me, "drink this". He blessed the bread, then held the cup to the wound in his side and it was at once filled with a marvellous wine. When I had eaten and drunk i understood that this was no ordinary food, but nourishment which transformed me and gave me a deep joy. I looked at the handsome, young man and saw him dwelling in me and being adored by angels. Then the young man spoke to me. His words were like heavenly music, delighting me and causing me to shed tears of love and joy. And then he drew me to himself, embraced me, and held me to his heart, caressing me and soothing me gently with the melody which fell from his lips. I lay my head on his chest and my happiness was so great that my spirit fainted. I slept on the heart of my loving friend. It was no ordinary sleep, but one filled with an immense sense of peace which the young man induced in me after the storm. The psalmist sings: "In peace in him I sleep and take my rest."
I slept a long time and I had a dream of heaven during my sleep. O dream of love, I wish I were able to express it. Then he touched my eyes and I awoke at once filled with inexpressible love. Bowing down I thanked him for his welcome and he said to me, "if you wish you can stay here every day. Each day I will bathe you in my blood. I will warm you in my heart. I will enfold you with my light and I will make you sit down to my table. If you leave me, watch out for the storm will quickly begin again."
"Let other," I said, "fight the storm and wade through the mud on the road, but for me, since you will keep me here, I wish to live here, here I wish to die. Yes, everyday I will drink for the torrent of life which flows from your open side. But tell me your name so that I can bless you with the angels.
He replied, "My name is Love, my name is Eucharist, my name is Jesus."
Let us then love Jesus Christ, for there is only one happiness to love Jesus Christ and to be loved by him."
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