When you cannot communicate, how can you stop them? How can you scold them, teach them, break up the fighting, defend the younger weaker ones, explain to them what they are doing wrong, why they are being punished, or help set a better example.
The last one is the only one which is possible without communication (no...German is tough enough...I don't think I'll be 'picking up' Russian). Set a better example, and love them through it all.
But not tough love or proud love...but GENTLE love.
My gentleness gave way to exasperation and frustration. Why couldn't they just be good, get along, play well together, enjoy the fact that we were there to play with them, etc.
At one point a boy came in (one of the usually exceptionally naughty and yet irresistibly sweet little boys) with his water bottle in hand, walking around the room, taking swigs and then spitting the contents of his mouth-full all over the room, on the floor, couches, table, us. He loved just walking around drinking and spitting as if he were outside in the middle of the woods rather than on a carpeted floor in a house that doesn't belong to him. I was astounded at what I was seeing.
I looked at Alina, she looked at me. We both looked at him, stunned by what we were seeing, as he looked at us, mouth full of water, smirked, spit, and ran away. I said, "I don't know what to do. What do we do?" She said, "I have no idea anymore." Almost laughing at the insanity of the situation.
Exasperation. I was sadly relieved when our visit ended. Not how I want to feel.
At prayer that evening, Alina prayed for God to grant us more patience and more love so that we can especially love the children how He loves them. Exactly where they are , who they are, as they are. Whatever they do, whatever they say, however they act, however much water they spit all over the floor, hit you, call you dumb, etc. To be GENTLE in loving them exactly as they are and not wishing they were different or rejecting them for being as they are.
< Be just as gracious toward the little ones as toward the great ones. Make an effort particularly when you are with people who seem vulgar to you. Go to everyone with the same gentleness. You are all brothers in Me. Wasn't I everyone's Brother? Don't take your eyes off your model. >
< The smaller and weaker a child is, the more closely one holds it to one's heart. >
To the rational, responsible, practical eye, the children need to be scolded about 98.3% of the time. That leaves 1.7% gentleness.
That these children really need is 98.3% gentleness, they need to be held closely to our hearts. No matter what that holding closely entails or reaps.
Some fathers are in jail, some were shot in the war, some mother's are divorced, some are too afraid to leave the apartment. Some speak and understand. Some are old enough to be in school and yet don't even know the alphabet. Some get everything they want, some are deprived of everything. Some have seen horrible, horrendous things already in their lives. Some only experience horrible things at the hands of those who neglect them, ignore them, or punish them. Some smile so sweetly and purely just wanting to be taken care of and dealt with delicately. Some smirk and squirm and try to get under your skin the moment you walk in the door, if only to get a couple minutes more of your attention.
Some need to be held. Others need to be held closely. But in the end, all need to be held, all need to be gently loved. Just for who they are, as they are...spit soaked carpet and all.
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