confitures and other ramblings

"I didn't come here to make JAM."

She quickly followed her quick little sentence with an explanation--"No, I didn't say it in a rebellious way. I said it because I understood that there was more to our presence there than making jam. that jam was just a part of it and there was something deeper in that jam, in why I was in India" 

Mathilde was sharing with me more of her life as we were walking home from the mass of the feast day of the Annunciation in Stephansdom tonight. She had been making jam today from the pounds of bananas, strawberries and watermelon that we received from the market today (St. Joseph is so good to us) and her brain was filled with jam. 

But thats the secret. the secret is in the jam. Its the little things of normal life that are just teasers of the deeper reality they hold within. 

It may have been jam--when she was in India, and this afternoon in our kitchen in Vienna--but that jam was filled with a whole lot of love and thus...we aren't here to make jam, we aren't here to make presentations, hold events, and design advertisements, we aren't here to cook and clean and type and read...we are here to live and are called to do so drenched in love, infusing our every action with love.  

like Mary--she didn't become the Mother of God through the 'yes' we commemorate today in order to become pregnant, to flee to Egypt, to cook dinner for God, to stand under a blood stained cross. She said "yes" in order to love. 

Love--equal parts fear and joy. Confusion and delightful surprise. 

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Tomorrow Alina and I leave for Graz, Austria for three days of presentations in schools and a couple of community/prayer meetings. I entrust our trip and all the people we will meet, words we will speak, encounters we will have to your thoughts and prayers. May we speak with His words and bring His Presence. 

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Another word about the girl I have come to hold dearly as a sister in community--Mathilde has discerned through a lot of time, experience, prayer and advice that she is not in fact called to a vocation with Heart's Home, so her second mission with Heart's Home will come to an end on May 2nd when she will travel back to Paris to discover there what the next step is that the Lord has in store for her open and willing and searching heart. It has been such a blessing to be in community with her, to share these past 5 months of learning and growing and hurting and loving--mercy. She is such a presence of mercy. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as well as she ventures on this next step in her life! 

Happy Solemnity of St. Joseph!

Like the good father he is, and second patron of our house here since we are in fact living connected to St. Josef's Church, St. Josef celebrated his own feast by showering so many blessings on us today! And in turn, we got to celebrate his feast in wonder and joy!! 

I woke up late (its a bad habit) to voices in the kitchen. To my surprise, I found Sidonia sitting with her son, Ramos, and Mathilde at the kitchen table eating some breakfast and drinking tea. It was the first time I had seen her beautiful, long, black hair cascading down her slightly hunched back...and also the first time I had ever seen her in our house! (I missed her first spontaneous visit about a month or so ago). My face lit up with joy! But hers with a joy tinged anxiety. In fact, she was here because Alina had promised her that she would help take Ramos (her son, 12 1/2 years old) to the hospital for intense pain he was experiencing in his side--pain that the hospital ended up deeming life-threatening in which case, without papers or insurance, Ramos could still be treated, thank god! So as she sat and ate breakfast and Alina and I sleepily walked into the kitchen--Alina suddenly remembered why Sidonia was in our kitchen and hurried to get prepared to leave. And Mathilde and I got to sit with Sidonia and Ramos and catch up a little. Turns out they will all be going back to Romania in April--Sidonia says that she wants to put the boys in school and they can only go to school in Romania. I can only imagine what kind of struggle that will be for Ramos who is already 12 1/2, but not much more of a struggle than the one he was having against the pain. So Alina rushed off with them to AKH--the biggest hospital in Vienna--where they spent the whole day, and where Ramos still is spending the night while Sidonia went home to take care of the other two boys. I entrust Ramos and his health to your prayers. They did a lot of tests today, so hopefully they'll know something better tomorrow!

So that surprise doesn't necessarily have a good ending. 

But then we had another surprise guest. Agnes came over in the morning for adoration because she had to come to the 2. district to visit a friend anyways. After she had had her prayer time in the chapel I was heading out to the market to pick up the produce we receive every Monday from one of the produce stands. 

  { Another friend of ours, Dinka, has become friends with some of the stand owners, with whom she speaks her mother-tongue of Croatian, and just two weeks ago she introduced me and Heart's Home as an organization to them and arranged it so that we could receive produce every week that they would otherwise throw out or not be able to sell. Such a blessing in itself, but today was absolutely insane! }

Agnes said she would come with me, even though I assured her that we usually only receive a little crate of things so I wouldn't need extra hands. Turns out St. Joseph had something else in mind. As we reached the market, the woman smiled and turned to the side of the building pointing to the mountain of crates--"Es gibt viel heute!" she said with a smile (There is a lot today) in her slavic accent and cool yet friendly tone. I gasped--there was more than a lot! There were 5 huge crates full of paradise for us to just take home! Lettuce, peppers, cherry tomatoes to eat for eternity, cucumbers, apples, pears, bananas, galore. It was incredible! Am I ridiculous for being so excited about this?? I must admit its not the vegetables and fruits themselves that had me grinning from ear to ear and almost flowing over with thanksgiving. It was their generosity, the generosity of Dinka, the miracles that God works in our lives, the wonder in which we are allowed to stand in everyday, the realization that we have received so much, and through that we can share so much, the realization that we didn't really have to go grocery shopping this week and how much money that would save for better things (I am the house accountant...I can't help it), the realization of how much God provides, the realization of how real Heart's Home is really becoming grounded here in Vienna and how the foundation is growing so quickly that even I cannot catch up. Just some vegetables and fruit helped me to see how much this little Heart's Home in Vienna's second district is so not mine, not in my control, not something I can provide for or help--it is His, and it always has been, and I am just a humble servant, so blessed to be able to take part, to experience God's goodness, his paternal generosity and mercy--as well as that which Christ's own step-father embodied and still does from his place in the heavens. 

Everyone who lives, TRULY LIVES, is an artist of life

February brought the visit of David and many birthdays. 

First--David! 

He is a Southernfrenchman who returned home to his little town in France in September after spending two years with Heart's Home in the "Garden of Mercy" in India. He and Mathilde were brother and sister in community there for about four months!! He came to spend a month with us and helping us do renovation work in the apartment before he heads off to L'Arche where he will spend a year or so living and working with handicapped people. He arrived knowing absolutely no German, and a few words in English, with a serious Indian head bob (something you have to see to understand...I'll show you if you ask), a mouth full of new French cuss words to learn during the renovations, an awe-inspiring charm with kids, and a peaceful and loyal (I don't know why that word...it just sticks out to me as "his word") presence. He jokes around like a little kid which is really helpful in reminding you that life isn't that serious, that you should relax, stop thinking about your "to-do" list and take some time to simply live and smile and joke around. 

I was the only one home when it came time to go to the bus station on the day of his departure. The 15 minute walk to the bus station was something I will fondly remember for its jovial childlikeness, for its simplicity and its laughter in the spaces between his broken english sentences and my wrongly conjugated French verbs. It had begun to rain and the wind was strong against our umbrellas. His roller suitcase had a faulty handle and a bad wheel and was having a hell of a time keeping up behind us as it stumbled across the cobblestones behind David. At one point, after whispering "Merde" and righting his overturned suitcase, he looked at me, eyed the suitcase suspiciously, and then looked back at me saying--"She's drunk. Sorry".

  As soon as we came in sight of the Donau the wind was so strong we had to stop every couple of steps, laugh at the sorry sight we were, turn around to block the blustering wind, and flip our umbrellas "right-side-in". At one point, David's umbrella simply started pulling him forward instead of flipping, and as the long, slender legs of this towering man skipped along the pavement, his hand and umbrella raised higher in the air and he looked at me, smiling, saying, "Tschüss, I am Mary Poppings. I fly now. Bye-Bye". The sight was hilarious, so if you're not chuckling to yourself right now, you'll have to trust me. 

To see some of the amazing new things that resulted from David's stay with us...see the next post! 

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Considering that the worth and dignity of the human person, the importance of friendship and community, and the place given to beauty and togetherness --are all things that Heart's Home, and anyone truly human, highly values, fights for, and celebrates, its comes as no surprise how important birthdays are for us. Whether they be our own birthdays or those of our friends, we try especially not to pass up the birthdays--something date-wise I am not very good at, but something celebration-wise, I especially love. 

In February we got to celebrate especially beautifully three birthdays: Irena, mine, and Monika's! 

Irena was sadly sick on her birthday--she came down with the flu first, and took the rest of her family with her. So we had to wait till the beginning of March to celebrate together, but finally we managed. So the pictures are in a different post :) 

So I'll start with my birthday :) 

The Thursday before, the celebration started with an American birthday evening at the home of a dear friend of mine--Dinka. Although she is from Croatia and grew up in Vienna, she is married to an American--and not only an American, A CHEESEHEAD-named Lincoln, has three adorable American children (don't tell me there isn't a difference, because there is!), and speaks AMERICAN-English with the cutest little accent using all the familiar American expressions and exclamations. Oh she is just so precious to me! I am so thankful for her friendship!! (Aunt Joni: she reminds me of you!!)

Anyways...she's pregnant with her fourth!!...and since she has the curse of nauseous pregnancies, I have had an excuse to spend quite a few afternoons at her house playing with the kids so she can rest, or drinking coffee and keeping her company. Whether we are sitting on the couch talking about knitting or sitting at the kitchen table discussion our life adventures and love stories, I'm playing race cars with the boys or reading with Veronika, I'm accompanying her to the Gyno as a little support on a baby checkup, or she's taking me to the Karmelitermarkt (Market near us) so that she can introduce me to her Serbian market-stand friends and arrange donations of old produce for Offenes Herz, she feels like HOME to me. 

but even more so on my birthday--which she and Lincoln went to extra effort to make perfectly American for me in every way. 

the kids were still awake when I got there after a long day of being out and about, and I loved every minute of the "getting in bed routine"...

which of course could only start after we successfully convinced this charmer that he had had enough water to drink and needed to go brush his teeth and put his pj's on (this is Nico by the way)

then I had the honor of reading the bedtime story....as you can see, we've become good friends, and American kids are just that wonderfully cuddle-y. 

then, after the kids were successfully in bed (at least for the time being), Lincoln, Dinka and I found our comfy places in the couch and ate GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES WITH WISCONSIN CHEESE (freshly delivered by Lincoln's parents who had been there visiting the week before)...never have I enjoyed a grilled cheese so much...I haven't tasted Cheddar Cheese for a YEAR! and I immediately remembered why it is so much better than any French cheese you could ever eat. Then, such wonderful grilled cheeses were followed by a colossal carrot cake with cream cheese frosting...the moistest and yummiest birthday cake I have had in years--and quite a feat to make when you are in Austria! But Dinka is an amazing baker and she outdid herself. 

And to top it all off...we had this little midnight feast while enjoying the good old sarcastic American humor only found in one of my favorite TV shows--Modern Family--all the seasons of which Lincoln of course has recorded! What a simple and decadent night. 

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Then came birthday morning:
We started the morning off a little later than usual (they gave me sleep for my birthday!!) with a beautiful mass! Since Fr. Clemens and Fr. Jacques were both not in Vienna on my birthday, Monika and Alina had coordinated with Fr. Edward (from Africa, the first priest we befriended in Vienna, the assistant pastor at the parish near Monika's apartment where we always went to church when we lived with her) that he would come to our house to say the mass! Monika and Ulli prepared the music and we even got to welcome Thibault (a friend of Heart's Home from France) and his mother who had just arrived in Vienna on vacation!
After the mass, as you can see, we had a birthday brunch! 

complete with Peanut Butter....an American birthday grocery exception! 

this is Fr. Edward!!! 

Thibault with flowers in his hair! 

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At 3pm I met up with my Austrian Momma--Agnes--(who I don't think I've ever talked about or posted a picture of, but who has become so very very dear and important in my life since the very beginning!)--for a tea at the Haas&Haas Teahaus near Stephansdom, followed by walk through most of the city, finding our way to the Hundertwasser Museum where she treated me to an exhibition I had been DYING to see--"Henri Cartier Bresson"--a fabulous French photographer and the highlights of his Soviet Union, Indian, and American photographs. The exhibition was very well done and I had a wonderful time discovering the world anew through his lens. 

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Unbeknownst to me, Agnes was in on the surprise that awaited our arrival back at Offenes Herz after the museum! I walked into a candlelit living room full of dear friends who sang happy birthday, flicked on the lights and stayed for more than a couple hours simply enjoying being together, having a little something to eat and drink, hearing Tomoko's musical birthday treats and opening presents. 

Dinka and Alina

listening to Tomoko play!!! such a wonderful birthday gift!! She even played my favorite--Carmen--which she plays without a fault, and from memory!!

Thibault's Maman

picking some music

listening

Tiramisu!!--second year in a row--made by a different Italian, but one still soooooo dear to my heart! 

Alessandra (responsible for the Tiramisu) and Keiko and Reiko (Tomoko's daughters) 

candles of course

What a surprise--Alina even got in touch with Mary Johnson (a Little Flower sister of mine and fellow graduate of FUS with me who is studying currently at the ITI in Trumau), who came into Vienna for the party and to spend the night! 

Fr. Clemens arrived back in Vienna in the middle of the party! He had been leading a retreat in Tyrol. 

Thibault, Monika, and Tomoko

Dad's Whisky

My dad left some Jim Beam behind after his visit, so we got to toast my birthday the way I like best--with those dearest to me, and with a good shot of whiskey! 

Fr. Clemens, Ines, Mathilde, Mary, Agnes, Alina, Patrick

Such a mix of ages, studies, vocations, nationalities!! 

Prost with Ulli

one half italian, one full-blooded Italian : two great party planners! 

And thank you to everyone who sent me a letter in the "Birthday Post"--it took me a couple days to read through them all but each one touched me in a special way on my second and more home-sick birthday spend across the sea. Herzlichen Dank! 

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Then a couple days later we got to celebrate Monika's Birthday!!

Fr. Clemens celebrated mass in the Karmeliterkirche accompanied by the beautiful organ playing of Thibault!! 

Afterwards I treated Monika to a coffee at Cafe Korb (continuing our Kaffeehaus-Date tradition). 

later that evening we had a beautiful evening/dinner together : the community (minus Fr. Jacques who was in Berlin), David, Tomoko, a friend of Tomoko's visiting from France, Ulli, and Wei Wei. 

following last year, I made Monika obey "American" tradition (I don't know if its American, or a Smith Family thing....someone tell me!)---each of the women slipped a ring over a candle before Monika blew them out! 

Then came Tomoko's gift to Monika--beautiful music!! 

although it was the first day of lent....we partied and broke mostly all of our lenten promises.....but that is what birthdays are for, right!?