are you too busy looking at the wind?

At Peter's request, Jesus said, "Come."

Without questioning, Peter stepped out of the boat. 

He was not drawn by a desire to walk on water for the sake of a miracle. He was not drawn by a curiosity of what it would be like to stand with the raging waves beneath ones feet, in the middle of the sea, in the midst of a terrible storm. Peter did not call out from the boat, "Lord, bid me walk on water like you!" but rather, "Lord, bid me come to thee!

He wanted to be near the Lord. He is overflowing with faith and love, desiring to be with the Lord, without the slightest delay or waiting for Him to approach the boat. He wanted to be close to the one he loved and trusted, as soon as possible. 

The storm didn't scare him. His gaze was caught with Christ's and he knew nothing could harm him. He knew that if the Lord commanded him to come, he would be able to defy nature and rise against any obstacle, even a sea stretching between them, to be at his Master's side. Not out of arrogance or ostentation, but pure trust and love did Peter make this request. He admitted in his first call to Jesus that it would not be his own desire that would carry him across the waters to Christ, but it would be Christ willing it, Christ's strength and power over His creation providing for Peter's safety at every step.

"But perfect love casteth out fear" (1 John 4:18)

So, Christ bid him come and he obeyed, wholeheartedly. 

"Without any doubting, at the word of Him who bade him, at the presence of Him who sustained, at the presence of Him who guided him, without any delay, Peter leaped down into the water, and began to walk. He was able to do what the Lord was doing, not in himself, but in the Lord." (St. Augustine)

Then, he was a step away from Christ, an arms length. He started to sink.

Why? 

"he saw the wind, he was afraid"

The wind? It was not the raging waves beneath his feet, not the lightening, not the sound of thunder--but the wind, and in fact "seeing" the wind, that caused him fear? 

Peter cannot see the wind. He sees the effects of the wind, but not the wind itself. He fears what he cannot see, he fears the effects of what he cannot see upon is life and his safety. The raging waters below him can do him harm by swallowing him up and drowning him, yet the wind cannot do such things. So, why is it that he fears the wind?

How often is it that we are gazing into the eyes of Christ, fortified by our faith in His love and power, moved to be even closer to Him, no matter the storm of life that rages around us? Yet, how often is it on the other hand, that in our human weakness we don't focus on how close the Lord is to us, but rather, we fear what we cannot see. Peter was not scared by the waves that waited to sink him, or the lightening that could strike him. No, he was afraid of the wind, something he could not see. 

{sound familiar? ...like a typical human reaction of fearing what we cannot see? something like our future and what might occur (like the wind) to move our lives and our world to unrest (like the wind's effect on the sea?) something we think we "see" like Peter "saw" the wind because we our imaginations about possibilities are so powerful }

Three things:

(1) This gospel passage, which was the gospel reading today, is one of my favorites, hence I am blogging about it. 

(2) I've been letting myself break my trusting gaze with Christ and fear what I cannot see--the unknown that lies ahead of me. God sent me this simple plea this morning--just pray. { I won't stretch out my hand and force it upon you. You have to freely ask for it--for my hand, my help, my strength, my love. Immediately, it will be yours because I actually am right beside you, waiting for you to look back at me rather than down at the waters that you are sinking into } I have to keep in mind not what I cannot see (my future) but what I have already seen, like Peter had already seen the winds and the storm obeying Christ before (Matthew 8:27). I have to keep in mind that I'm going to Austria because the Lord has bid me come to be with Him there in the people I meet. I, a weak human, love him and trust that what He asks will be accomplished perfectly in accord with His Will. He will take care of everything.

"Peter walked on the water by the bidding of the Lord, knowing that he could not have this power of himself. By faith he had strength to do what human weakness could not do. (...) He went down, and began to walk  on the water; and Peter was able, because the Rock had bidden him." (St. Augustine)

I, all of us, must always remain in prayer--the prayer that is that gaze I hold with Christ as I walk towards Him over the water. A peasant in Ars once described his time in adoration to St. John Vianney thus, "I look at Him, and He looks at me." So our faith is upheld, and thus our body held above the waters and out of the clenches of fear, by a fixed, constant gaze of faith with Christ. 

"This focus on Jesus is a renunciation of self. His gaze purifies our heart; the light of the countenance of Jesus illumines the eyes of our heart and teaches us to see everything in the light of his truth and his compassion for all men." (Catechism of the Catholic Church) 

When our eyes are fixed on Christ, we don't see the wind, or ourselves vulnerable to the wind and its effects; we see only Him. We do not fear; we continue to move ever closer to the One we love the most.

(3) The wind does not stop blowing. Peter cried out, as we all hear ourselves crying out right before we think we'll drown, "Lord, save me". Peter's gaze caught Christ--this time not full of trust born of love, but trust born of fear and need. Meeting eyes, the Lord then reaches out His hand, but He didn't actually calm the wind, take away what Peter feared, until they were back in the boat. Christ was waiting for Peter's eyes to once again search for and find Him. With his gaze fixed back on Christ through his prayer, he can see Christ's hand outstretched and his vision is only of safety, void of vulnerability and fear. The wind still blew, but Christ showed him that the wind was not to be feared. St. John Chrysostom wrote in his commentary on this passage: 

"And wherefore did He not command the winds to cease, but Himself stretched forth His hand and took hold of him? Because in him faith was required. For when our part is wanting, then God's part also is at a stand. Signifying therefore that not the assault of the wind, but his want of faith had wrought his overthrow, He says, "Wherefore did you doubt, O thou of little faith?" So that if his faith had not been weak, he would have stood easily against the wind also. And for this reason, you see, even when He had caught hold of Him, He suffers the wind to blow, showing that no hurt comes thereby, when faith is steadfast."

Lord, I believe in Thee; strengthen my faith. 

Lord, all my hopes are in Thee; do Thou secure them. 

Lord, I love Thee; teach me to love Thee daily more and more.

Hail Mary, Star of the Sea, Star of Hope, please intercede for me. 

I will leave you with these two excerpts of beautiful, holy words from Pope John Paul II, in reference to today's passage (Matthew 14:24-33)

      "This Gospel event is full of profound meaning. It concerns the most important problem of human life, faith in Jesus Christ. Peter certainly had faith, as he later magnificently showed in the region near Caesarea Philippi, but at the moment his faith was not yet solid. When the wind began to blow more strongly Peter began to sink, because he had doubted. It was not the wind that made Peter sink into the lake but the insufficiency of his faith. Peter's faith had lacked one essential element--complete abandonment to Christ, total trust in him at the moment of great trial; he lacked unreserved hope in him. Faith and hope, together with love, constitute the foundation of the Christian life, the cornerstone of which is Jesus Christ.
      (...) Dear young people, follow Christ with the enthusiasm of your youthful hearts. He alone can calm man's fear. Look to Jesus from the depths of your hearts and minds! He is your inseparable friend.
      (...) As Christians you are called to bear witness to faith and hope, so that people--as Saint Paul writes--'will not be without hope and without God in this world', but will 'learn to know Christ.'
      (...) Faith in Christ and the hope which he teaches enables man to conquer himself, to conquer everything in him that is weak and sinful; and at the same time this faith and hope lead him to victory over evil and the effects of sin in the world around him. Christ freed Peter from the fear which had seized him on the stormy lake. Christ enables us too to overcome the difficult moments in life, if with faith and hope we turn to him and ask his help. 'Take heart, it is I; have no fear' (Mt 14:27) Strong faith, from which is born limitless hope, a virtue so needed today, frees man from fear and gives him the spiritual strength to resist all life's storms. Do not be afraid of Christ! Trust him completely! He alone 'has the words of eternal life.' Christ never lets us down!
      (...) Man has to enter this world, in a certain sense immerse himself in it, for he has received from God the command to 'subdue the earth' by work, study, creative effort (cf. Gen 1:28). On the other hand, man cannot shut himself up exclusively within the limits of the material world, neglecting the Creator. For this is against man's nature, against his inner truth, since the human heart, as St. Augustine says, is restless until it rests in God (cf. Confessions, I, 1,1). The human person, created in the image and likeness of God, cannot become a slave to things, to economic systems, to technological civilization, to consumerism, to easy success. Man cannot become the slave of his inclinations and passions, sometimes deliberately aroused. We must defend ourselves against this danger. We need to know how to use our freedom, choosing what is the true good. Do not let people make you slaves! Do not let people tempt you with false values, half-truths, the fascination of illusions, which you will later leave behind with disappointment, hurt, and perhaps with your life ruined."
      (...) Sometimes the world can be something threatening, it is true; but someone who lives by faith and hope has in himself the power of the Spirit to face the dangers of this world. Peter walked on the waves of the lake, even though it was against the laws of gravity, because he was looking Jesus in the eye. When he doubted, when he lost personal contact with the Master, he began to sink and was rebuked: 'O man of little faith, why did you doubt?'
       From the example of Peter we learn how important in the spiritual life is the personal bond with Christ; it has to be constantly renewed and deepened. How? Above all by prayer. My dear friends, pray and learn to pray, read and meditate on the Word of God, strengthen the bond with Christ in the Sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist..."
       This world which sometimes seems like an untamable element, like a stormy sea, at the same time has a profound thirst for Christ, such a thirst for the Good News. It has such need of love.
       Be in this world bearers of Christian faith and hope by living love everyday. Be faithful witnesses of the Risen Christ, never turn back before the obstacles that present themselves on the paths of your lives. I am counting on you. (...) Build and strengthen (on Polish soil) the "civilization of love": in personal, social, and political life, in the schools, universities, parishes, and families that one day you will form. For this purpose spare none of your youthful enthusiasm, energy, and sacrifice. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Rom 15:13)

(from Address of John Paul II at a Youth Meeting on 3 June 1997 during his Apostolic Journey to Poland)