sometimes love just overwhelms you. you want to sink away at the meer thought that you are receiving so much you couldn't possibly deserve. I think thats one of the best and most adequate ways to describe love--incomprehensible. No matter how many times you ask yourself the question "Why", there is no explanation of why you receive what you are given out of love. You have not deserved it, it is not owed you, and you may have been completely taken aback and not seen it coming. You don't understand it, and this lack of understanding makes your heart even heavier with gratitude and humility.
I was rendered speechless, not only in one fleeting instant, but the entire day--a day all the way back in February, when I turned 22 in a foreign city thousands of miles away from home, amongst people I had known, at most, for 3 months. Why? Because the overwhelming love and thoughtfulness of my new family and friends here completely swept me off my feet...
everything was so simple and humble. everything was so rich and sparkling with love.
as you can see, I am just realizing now I never shared with you how amazing my birthday was. now that its almost july, im not even going to go there...but I do want to pass one of my favorite birthday presents on to you. A quote from Hermann Cohen that was taped inside a book given to my by Monika:
(first in German)
Ich habe das Glück überall gesucht: im eleganten Leben des Salons, in der Freundschaft mit berühmten Persönlichkeiten, im betäubenden Lärm der Tänze und Feste, um Ruhm als Künstler, in der Sinnenlust. Jetzt habe ich das Glück gefunden. Mein Herz läuft uber, und ich möchte es mit dir teilen und du sagst: 'Ich aber glaube nicht an Jesus Christus." Ich antworte dir: Auch Ich habe nicht geglaubt, und deshalb war ich unglücklich."
(translation): I sought happiness/bliss everywhere: in the elegant parlor life, in friendship with famous people, in the stunning noise of festivals and dance, in the renown of being an artist, in sensual pleasure. Now I have found bliss. My heart overflows and I would like to share it with you, and you say: 'But I don't believe in Jesus Christ." I answer you: "I didn't believe either, and thus I was unhappy."
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