To Live of Love

To live of love is to sail afar and bring both peace and joy where'er I be. O Pilot blest! Love is my guiding star; in every soul I meet, Thyself I see. Safe sail I on, through wind or rain or ice; love urges me, love conquers every gale. High on my mast behold is my device: 'By love I sail!' - st. therese

3.28.2011

finally...details on crack.

(i wrote this several days before I found out I would have to leave Austria, but for some reason I never posted it. whoops)


well its about time, right. 

genau. 

i think this is a good time to write. 
we are officially living in the Offenez Herz-Wien apartment,
(although please still send mail to Monika...we're not sure how the mail works here yet)
and tonight will be our 4th night here. 
Fr. Jacques comes tomorrow...to stay, at least for 3 months. 
And a friend of ours, Klaudia, gave us an internet stick (for which she won't let us pay) so that we can have internet in the apartment until we get the wireless installed. (so amazingly generous)

so here we go...this is going to be the most sporadic, least aesthetically pleasing piece of writing, but at least its something. 

the past two months have been ridiculous. in one week, our lives completely flipped...we had something to do every afternoon and night of the week, not to mention fitting ion deutsch-lernen, and the four hours of prayer we have everyday. And no, this is not complaining. This is just me explaining, in the chance that you have never experienced this in your own life...unlikely, how God works through surprises. He is like a best friend everyday trying to come up with some ridiculous, exciting thing to surprise you with everyday, just to see you smile, cry because you're laughing so hard, or stun you because of how loved and how blessed you feel. 
That being said. As awesome as God is, as well as most of the people that we have met and befriended, and who have helped us tremendously along the way, the going hasn't been easy. Everyday brings its difficulties...and some days end with me thinking, "Ok, all those things I thought were bad really weren't that bad, life is good, God is good, and tomorrow is a new day." Then there are those other days that I am convinced YOUR PRAYERS and good thoughts are the only things that keep my feet from running to the nearest U-bahn, taking that to the airport, and getting the heck out of this entirely foreign world and back into mine. 
yet, 2 months (pretty much) since I last posted anything with substance, I am still here. Still having wonderful days, and difficult days. Still depending totally on God as well as your prayers, and not being let down in the least. Still trying my best to love every person I meet as much as they need, failing more than I would like, and trying again. Still trying to learn German, and getting better everyday. Trying to bring a little more humanity to the big city of Vienna and more God/Love to all its people, and falling more in love with the city and Austrians everyday. 

Our life is a school: Part 1


compared to most of my posts...this will be mostly to-the-point and concrete to fill you in on what seems like a years worth of experiences jammed into 2 months...

-this is for Bob Hogan (if you even read this...): On January 9th we went with Monika to the apartment of a friend of her's from Slovokia...Theresa...who just happens to be the sister of Dominika!...a girl I studied with in Gaming...and who Bob knows very well. Theresa says hi...and she mentioned more than once that she absolutely loves you and thinks you are one of the most wonderful people in the world. 

-Gemeinschaft Schule: an integral part of life in the community of Heart's Home (Offenes Herz) is called Gemeinschaft Schule (Community School)...it can be just for the community, or open to guests you invite, or created specifically for other people (for example, Fr. Paul in Brooklyn runs a School of Community once a week for a group of artists from the Brooklyn area). The School of Community was adopted from an Italian movement started by Luigi Giussani (a friend of our founder, Fr. Thierry) called Communion and LIberation. It is a time for catechesis and discussion...centered around an important text of the Church or a theological or philosophical text...which is read and discussed...and most importantly related to your life experience. The School of Community is first and foremost a school of life...every text that is read sheds light on some question that arises from daily life experiences (i.e. What is most important in your life, and how does that shape your actions, your daily experiences, your happiness and your despair) and then a very short talk is given by the leader of the school of community prompting discussion regarding personal experience or any questions you might have. I am explaining this so much (if you don't really understand it, I'm sorry...I didn't understand it until I actually participated in one) because it is a very important part of our life both in community and in mission in Vienna. We have started our own Offenes Herz Gemeinschaft Schule here in Vienna: Monika (or Fr. Jacques when he is here...more about him later) usually prepares a 10 minute talk to introduce the text and to lead everyone into a discussion  (oh, and yes, it is all in german), Maria-Elizabeth (the former Heart's Home missionary to Peru) is always present, but the rest of the people who join us have not been consistent for the three weeks we have had meetings, but hopefully we will begin to have a more solidified group. In any case, the discussion is always beautiful and it has been a great way to deepen our friendship with friends that share an interest in the Catholic faith. There is also a group from Communion and Liberation here in Vienna which has a Gemeinschaft Schule every Wednesday. Just two weeks ago, Pepe (the CL priest at the KHG...I'll explain that next) started the new semester of Gemeinschaft Schule for the students and any guests to the KHG on Luigi Giussani's most famous book, The Religious Sense. We try to attend this as much as we can-both to participate in the gemeinschaft schule, as well as to see all of our friends, and to work on our German. 


-Its like being back at Franciscan.....the KGH: Our connection to the KHG was obviously first through Monika (like everything in our lives) and through her friendship with the priest and university chaplain "Pepe" (a very deep and yet hilarious, 20-something-souled, chain-smoking, spanish CL priest) and quick friend of ours. The KHG is a Catholic living center for university students from various universities around Vienna studying here for either one semester, or the entire length of studies) where Pepe is the University chaplain. The first time we met these students, mostly Italians, was after the student mass in Stephansdom (organized by the students from the KHG) at a nearby pizzeria. This was only the beginning...now every Sunday after the evening mass (7pm) in Stephansdom we go out for "studenten-essen" with a huge group of the students from the KHG, from all different countries (Italy, Austria, Germany, Ukraine, Thailand, Hungary, etc.), studying everything from engineering to physical geography, to philosophy, and speaking all different languages (or many different pronunciations of German). We have become good friends with Thum (tom) a music student especially talented at the piano who has a constant and infectious smile, and a knack for keeping you constantly updated on the opera and symphony performances every week, including prices for standing tickets (usually around 2 euro). And then there is Judita, an Italian girl studying Theology (? I actually forget), and the first person on this side of the Atlantic to give me an honest to goodness HUG! (none of this cheek kissing nonsense haha). And then Carlotta, who reminds me a lot of Boettch (intimidating at first, and then you learn there is nothing to be intimidated by :) ), who speaks English really well and always wants to practice with me, loves fashion and shopping, and is studying something in the business sphere. And then there is Phillip from Germany who will be finished with his university studies in a month and will then enter the business world. He speaks English well...but with a southern/Texan accent that makes me instantly think of a cowboy and I laugh out loud at him every time I hear him say even one word in english. Then there is Roberta, another lovely Italian who sings her German (think of the Italian singing type of accent paired with german words), studies philosophy, and was one of the first CL students I got to know. Then there is Patrick who also comes from German, I forget what he studies, and never wants to move back to Germany because he loves Austria so much ( a huge surprise for me considering all the German pride I usually encounter). Then there is Raphael who comes from Austria, is a wonderful cook (one night Monika and I were invited to dinner in one of the student apartments after mass and adoration and Raphael and Samuel and another man cooked a wonderful fish dinner...but cooked the fish whole and then brought them to the table. After seeing one of the students extract the eyes, I couldn't eat much) and who I ran into one afternoon while walking home from the grocery store and then proceeded to take a 20 minute walk with me back to Monika's apartment because the grocery store bag had ripped and I needed help carrying them home. Elizabeth, whose mother is from Austria and father is from Manchester, England, I just met 2 weeks ago after Sunday mass and proceeded to become instant friends. She works in an advertising firm here in Vienna, speaks English very well, and 4 days ago came (along with two other friends) to help us paint the room in the apartment that we are preparing to be our chapel. Then of course, there are Pietro and Andrea...two amazing Italian men who have become like brothers for us! Andrea is an art student but already an accomplished painter. His work is extraordinary and his heart even more so. The second time we met him was when he was giving a presentation at the KHG on  the connection between Beauty and Truth, Art and Jesus Christ. He focused his presentation on a text by Cardinal Ratzinger which is one of my favorites (see the "treasure" section of my blog). I hope I will have so much more to tell you later in the life of this blog about Andrea, his amazing artistic talent, the beauty of his life and testimony, and the budding friendship between him and Offenes Herz. And then Pietro, another Italian with a heart of gold, a beautiful voice, very talented, guitar-playing hands, and a desire to have us involved in everything that goes on at the KHG. He is helping to lead the retreat that we are going on this weekend in Bratislava with Pepe and a lot of the people I've already mentioned, and which he personally made sure we would be going on. I guess you could say, this is God's little gift of friendship for us to experience in a mission in which we are living to give our friendship to others. 

+short note: presentation by Andreas on Cardinal Ratzinger's (Pope Benedict XVI) article on Beauty and Truth. I especially loved two thoughts and thought you might like to hear them : 1. Beauty is always painful, it is a wound of desire. 2. The difference between true beauty-that which makes us transcend ourselves and leads us to search for something greater-and the false beauty, that which incites man's egoism, incites his will to power and possession...once you start to try to grasp, possess, control, lord over beauty, it begins to die. 

So many friends: Apart from all these new friends in the KHG, there is Wei Wei...the best friend of Monika who is fully Austrian, but of Chinese heritage, is an up-and-coming fashion designer in Vienna who is preparing to open her own store in the 1st district in a couple of months (although it will feature not her own work, but the one of a kind functional art (clothing, jewelry, interior design, etc.) of her friends/colleagues..."Meine Kollegen"), hardly ever sleeps, and is an amazingly sweet person. Also there is Maria-Bella, a beautiful half-peruvian Austrian who is a friends of Monika's and now a friends of ours who we frequently run into in mass in Stephansdom and have dinner or coffee with usually every week. There is also Klaudia, a polish engineering student who will hopefully be moving to Graz next year to go to Austrian Airlines flight school. Her parents own a paint shop in Poland and have helped us tremendously in figuring out what to do in order to take care of the old walls of this apartment and have given us a lot of painting equipment and paint pigment. In fact, Klaudia was just here this afternoon helping us finish up painting the chapel as a surprise for Fr. Jacques when he arrives tomorrow. Klaudia is also the one that is making this blog post possible through the internet she donated to us until we get our wireless working. (there are so many more friends...but you're probably bored already because descriptions of people aren't really that great unless you eventually get to meet the people...so im going to stop now)

-Monika and the Holy Spirit: So Monika's english gets better everyday and I get so excited every time she comes to the same mass as us because then I have my very own translator! We joke because she thinks she is a horrible translator, but truly I am almost brought to tears at every homily she translates because it turns out to be just exactly what I need to hear at that moment in the day, week, mission, life. Even if she isn't translating exactly right according to the language, she is always translating (with a little help from the Holy Spirit) what exactly my heart needs to hear. It is truly a miracle. This was especially true in January when my German was so horrible and the reality of what I was doing here and how long I would be here was just sinking in (talk about homesickness). Now, I can speak German well enough and understand even better and last week was the first time I understood an entire homily without a translation! 

-The Legionaries are in Austria too! : So in that first week back in January when life all the sudden got crrrazy one of the evenings was spent at Theologie von Fass (the Austrian version of Theology on Tap, the Regnum Christi apostolate for young adults). The Auxiliary Bishop of Vienna was there to give a talk on 'Testimony: The Mission of the Christian Life" (I definitely just made that title up, but it adequately sums up the theme). It was a very interesting talk (thanks to the translation of Monika) and it was a great chance to be introduced to Fr. George (the Legionare priest in Vienna) and Esther (one of the 2 consecrated woman in the Vienna area with Regnum Christi). But most of all, it was here that we met a young man that quickly became one of our greatest friends here in Vienna and through whom the Lord has given us so many gifts and suprises--Bernhard. 

-Bernhard: Bernhard is what we (Monika, Alina, and I)  "Ein Echt Österreicher"--a genuine Austrian. He is always on time, always presentable and usually well-dressed, very clean, very polite, well connected to many spheres of society, and very good at planning. But learning all of this has only come with time. The first time we met was after Theologie von Fass, which he is the director of, and we met him through, of course, Monika. Over New Years, Monika went on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje and on the 12 hour bus ride there, she sat next to a stranger, who just happened to be Bernhard. Monika made sure we went to Theologie von Fass because there would be a man there who absolutely loves America and everything American, speaks English really well, and studies Philosophy--so of course I had to meet him. It turns out that he does speak English very well, and lived for some time in the States and loves America, but quickly discovered while living there that he is "Ein Echt Ã–sterreicher" and could only really spend the rest of his life living in Austria. Turns out that more specifically than Philosophy, we are also connected by a similar scholastic love--the philosophy of Dietrich von Hildebrand. This month, Bernhard is beginning his doctoral thesis and will be writing on some topic revolving around the political, anti-nazi papers and philosophy of community of Dietrich von Hildebrand. Thanks to the openness and generosity of my former professor Dr. Crosby (my fav. at Franciscan), whose email address I gave to Bernhard, Bernhard will now be writing his thesis under the direction of Dr. Josef Seifert, a philosopher himself, as well as one of Dietrich's best friends. And he will be writing this while he is working both in German during the week and Vienna on the weekends (beginning after Easter), so please keep his work and studies in your prayers. But that is not all...Bernhard has also asked us to be involved in the planning and organization of Theologie von Fass as an avenue through which to meet people looking for some sense of community and way to grow deeper in their faith. The first planning meeting we went to for the new semester was in Bernhard's old apartment (he just moved about 2 weeks ago) and when we were getting ready to leave after the meeting, Bernhard pulled us aside and right then and there told us he wanted to donate almost all of his furniture (beautiful, practically new, mostly Ikea), stereo, lamps, kitchen appliances to the new Heart's Home apartment. We were flabbergasted. And so now, as I sit in our living room...my feet are resting on the table he gave us, i'm listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata out of his surround sound stereo system, my notes are illuminated by his lamps, and we will be eating breakfast tomorrow morning on the kitchen table he gave us and then lunch on the dining room table he gave us...oh and I am sitting on the leather couch that he arranged for his cousin to donate to us. Amazing right. He is truly a Godsend to us...helping us from everything from furniture moving, figuring out which cell phone company to use, how to get internet and a landline in the new apartment, etc. I have no idea what we would be doing here in Vienna without him...but that is the amazing thing about God's surprises...They're just always THAT PERFECT that life couldn't be better in any other way. 

-I'm a teacher: Once a week I teach english to a little girl named Jessica. Her parents are from Poland and have been living in Vienna for 20 years--Irena and Slawomir. The first time I met them, I went to their house to babysit Jessica, she is 9 but looks 13 and is as tall as me, while her parents went out dancing with friends. Irena and Slaw (pronounced Slav) were so welcoming and an immediate friendship began to bud between Irena and I. We talked for a while, getting to know each other, before they went out and then we enjoyed a brunch together the next morning...well, more like lunch because it was at 12, because Irena and Slav didn't get back from their night on the down until 5am (its as if they're still in college of something!). At lunch Irena asked me if I would be interested in tutoring Jessica in English because they want her to learn an authentic accent and have an opportunity to practice what she is learning in school. After consulting Fr. Jacques and Alina, I began to tutor Jessica once a week in English. She is full of energy when she comes over to the Heart's Home apartment, ready to play several games of hide-and-seek throughout the hour we spend together, and always begging for tea that she never even drinks and a little after school snack. Somehow in the mix of it all, we do get to practice english...because I try to only converse with her in english...she is actually very good even though she is so young. It is also a wonderful opportunity for me to practice my german because as I teach her new words or american ways of saying things, I have to explain or define the terms in german. She is only 9...tutoring can't be that serious and book oriented...so I have to get creative before she starts to get completely uninterested in english. The time before last I taught her how to play Go FISH! which is her new favorite things to do. She even taught her father! So when I say "I tutor" I really mean I play hide and go seek and Go FISH with a 9 year old who has really no interest in learning english, but is starving for friendship. Why starving? Well, I am sure she has wonderful friends at school and she has already told me so much about her neighbors and her best friends that she goes on vacation with, and she definitely does not lack love from her parents...she is an only child, constantly showered with love and affection. So, it seems absurd that I would say "starving", but every week she cannot wait to leave (despite not being interested in english), and she begs her mom to let her come more than once a week. She gives me hugs sporadically while we are hanging out, and the last time I taught her, her mom had to pull her away from me because she wouldn't let me go when her mom came to pick her up. It is a beautiful mystery why she loves me so much (she writes me notes when we are playing Go Fish usually consisting of, 'Dear Mary. I love to come here. You are fun. I love you. Jessica'), but I just smile, hug her back, and thank God for bringing this little family in my life. THe mission pervades our lives...even our work...Jessica craves love and I am here in Vienna to give just that.


-Apartment: today is the 3rd day we are sleeping in the apartment. Its dirty, but I am starting to like it this way. Its as clean as it needs to be. We've almost completely painted the chapel. more updates soon because the renovators and people from the bank have been paying us many visits. 

-Fr. Jacques has come, and will come again...tomorrow.

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