To Live of Love

To live of love is to sail afar and bring both peace and joy where'er I be. O Pilot blest! Love is my guiding star; in every soul I meet, Thyself I see. Safe sail I on, through wind or rain or ice; love urges me, love conquers every gale. High on my mast behold is my device: 'By love I sail!' - st. therese

3.28.2011

the latest

             I love tracing everything that happens in life in Austria back to its origin because it helps you realize how everything truly does happen for a reason...because God is just that big and powerful, and most of all such a loving provider.
             I have already told you about Bernhard and how he has been such a guardian angel of ours in Vienna. Well this chain of connections leading to the Lord providing more than I could have asked for, begins with him!
             The Thursday before I left Austria, I spent about 6 hours online doing all kinds of legal and flight research, on the phone with consulates and foreign ministries both in Austria and the US, and doing just about everything I could to inform my decision of when and how I needed to leave and could return to Austria. It was a difficult decision to make, knowing that I would have to be away from Austria from 1-3 months because of a stupid hiccup in my residence application process, but knowing its what I had to do, I confirmed all that I had learned and decided with Sr. Regina in Brooklyn and then booked my flight (roundtrip...guessing just when I would be allowed to return...i gave myself a month). The instant after I booked it (what I had decided to do was completely legal and by the books, but risky at the same time because the woman in the foreign ministry office warned me that sometimes border control officers make decisions by their own discretion), I sat back on the couch, closed my eyes, and said, "Ok God, I have and am working so hard to do this legally, morally, and in line with your will. So its all yours now...if you want me back here, you have to make this happen."
               It was 11pm and I was heading to adoration because I had been so busy with all the details that I hadn't made it to adoration yet. I called Monika for the code to the 24/7 chapel, and 7 minutes later she called me back with some news that brought me to tears. She had just gotten off the phone with Bernhard-she had called him after she got of the phone with me because she thought maybe he would have some advice. (Side note: The day I found out I would have to leave Austria, I was in the car with Monika driving to retreat and talking about the situation...I remember saying to her, 'I should just call Bernhard. He's probably best friends with someone who can clear all this up...I mean, come on...the Cardinal texts him.' We both laughed and I never called Bernhard because he was on a retreat in Rome) After Monika described the situation to him, Bernhard called--from Rome at 11 pm--a friend of his that works in the Foreign Ministry, who then told him to have me send all my paperwork and information and description of all that has happened first thing in the morning and that he would look it all over and do anything he could to help me. Bernhard told Monika to get the message to me of what to do the next morning, leaving her with this comment: "He's rather high up in the chain. If he can't do anything to make it possible for Mary to stay, no one can." I was so shocked that after entrusting the whole thing to God, He instantly sent me a little message...Don't worry, I know its in My Hands and I'll take care of everything from here! I went to adoration completely dumfounded at the providence of God.
                Looking over all my information, the friend of Bernhard said it was too late (I had 3 days left in my 90-days) to do anything to make it possible for me to stay, but he would directly call the consulate in Chicago and ensure that they would contact me to help me with anything once I got to Chicago. That was enough of a miracle for me!!
               Several days after arriving in Chicago, sure enough, I received an email...from the Consul himself. Exchanging plenty of email back and forth concerning the whole situation and what to do at this stage, he directed me to apply for a D visa that would be valid for 6 months...as soon as I got the visa I could return to Austria and there await my residence permit to go through. He couldn't guarantee a time range of how long the residence permit would take...but 6 months would surely be enough. And he would wave the 80 euro fee for applying, and I would be moved to the top of the pile (usually you have to wait 4 months to receive one of these visas).
                The next day I arrived at the consulate and spoke to a woman about the application, which she then told me was an impossibility because I had already been there on a tourist visa within the 6 month period...Austria doesn't give back back visas like that, much less it would mess up my application process for the residence permit. So frustrated I just said, well Mr. Milosits told me to come here and do this, so I don't know what to do. I waited while she then left to go consult someone behind the mysterious wall separating those in charge, from us poor helpless souls trying to get into Austria. When she returned she had the biggest smile on her face and with the most sympathetic voice she said, "Oh Ms. McGraw, I'm so sorry for everything you've experienced and had to go through. I'll take your papers and your visa will be printed on the next processing date. You should be able to return to Austria next week." Dumbfounded I turned in the papers and thanked her. WHAT! A WEEK!! MIRACLES.
                Since a roundtrip ticket between Austria and Chicago was cheaper to book, I had already booked my return trip to Austria for April 20th, so I will still be leaving on that date to return to Austria, WITH A VISA, and NO PROBLEMS IN SIGHT, to go wait for my residence permit for which I have finally gathered all the necessary documents and will be mailing this week! In the mean time, I have spent a weekend with my parents, enjoyed more quality time with Sadie, and will be going to spend 2.5 weeks in Brooklyn to work and live in community (aka continue living in mission instead of taking a months vacation...shucks haha) and hopefully have a little silent retreat time. Then I will return to Chicago for two days before FLYING BACK TO AUSTRIA!!!!!

Who knew 2 months ago that the twenty-something, tall, Austrian philosopher we met at Theology on Tap would be the instrument of so many of God's miracles for us...including but not limited to my ability to get back to Austria in the quickest way possible!


Being here has been amazing, and not just because it has been a nice little vacation.
1. begin here with Sadie has been amazing. Yes, it is overwhelming to be back in America so quickly and abruptly, to be thrown into the fast-paced and crazy lives of young adults in new jobs in a fantastic city, but it was been such a blessing to be welcomed so lovingly by Sadie and her amazing roommates and other wonderful friends here.
2. Speaking of her roommates...one is named Anna and graduated a year before Sadie from Depauw. She and I became quick friends and I absolutely adore her! And she NEEDS YOUR PRAYERS because a month or so ago, her mom was diagnosed with severe pancreatic cancer. She had already endured surgical removal of a large portion of the cancer, but is now in chicago to undergo chemotherapy. This experience is full of a lot of suffering for Anna's entire family, but especially for Anna for whom the worry is sometimes so straining and exhausting. Love and Suffering. Please pray for her little heart that she feels some peace in the prayers and support surrounding her, and also for a miracle that her mother may be cured from her cancer. Please, just pray that God's most adorable will me be done, and whatever trials and suffering it includes may be a strengthening experience of endurance and deepen the love that unites her family.
3. It was an absolute blessing, more than I could possibly deserve, to get to spend three whole days with my parents while they stopped in Chicago on their roadtrip from Florida to Wisconsin. I was a little worried that it would make it harder for me to be here in the US after seeing them and then missing them more, and even harder to return to Austria because I spent time with them and would be more homesick afterwards, but it turned out to be the opposite. Seeing them brought such peace and rest to my heart and soul. We got to talk in person and in depth about the life I've been living and what I need to take with me into the next 10 months, they were sounding boards for alot of issues or struggles that of course accompany a life of service, they were welcome arms that just held me (Ive missed hugs so much, or simply just lying your head on someones shoulder...just doesn't happen in Austria haha), they humored me as I dragged them to a french film called Of God's and Men (more on that later...you HAVE to see it) and the new modern wing of the Art Institute, they loved me and just enjoyed each others company. Theres nothing like parents. But, at the same time, the day they left, I was of course sad, but not that sad. I know Austria is where I am supposed to be. I am excited to go back and not sad or more homesick after watching my parents drive off. It is a deep peace I feel that even though I am far away from my family, we are all where we are supposed to be and worry, or loneliness, sadness, or homesickness are not in the cards...the hope and joy of doing the Lord's will is too permeating.

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