........this is to beautiful and too difficult for a title.

i have two stories to tell you...one happened a while ago...and one happened just today. 

two weeks ago I was killing time, an hour to be exact, before a friend of ours came to the new apartment (which we were not yet living in) to deliver some furniture. There had been a confusion in the time we were supposed to meet and for once in my life I was the one early to something. So with an hour to kill and still rather sleepy and so cold, I decided to go visit a good friend of mine. I wasn't sure if she would be where I usually see her, so walking down the sidewalk freezing cold but enjoying the first sunny day we have had in a long time, I was silently praying that I could spend this extra hour God had given me with my friend. As soon as I saw her my feet started moving a little faster and my heart started beating a little faster and a smile spread across my face because I was so excited that I was going to have coffee (oh yes, I now cannot get through a morning without coffee and I hadn't had my usual cup that morning) with my friend and get to catch up with her. Then, right there on the sidewalk of Taborstrasse (one of the main streets in the second district) I bent down, greeted Sidonia with a kiss on each cheek, and plopped down on the sidewalk next to her. I had two coffees in my hand, and an hour to spend catching up with Sidonia, a mother of three from Romania who begs on the sidewalk in front of the Anker cafe everyday except Saturday and Sunday just so she can feed her three boys, and hopefully have some leftover money to buy medicine for her youngest son who has been sick for two months. 

Our conversation was per usual...she cant really speak much deutsch...and I cannot speak Romanian...so we get by with mixes of languages, many hand gestures, and even drawing pictures. I cannot tell you how different this day was for me though. For the first time, I felt in my heart and soul the presence of a true friendship with this strong and deeply beautiful woman. The racing in my heart I get, the excitement I feel when I get to have coffee or lunch with a friend and cannot wait to sit down and catch up...that I felt as soon as I saw that Sidonia was indeed in her usual spot and we were going to have an hour to spend together in the warm sunshine of that Friday morning. 

Yes, I bought her a coffee too...which is not a normal occurrence and in fact I wasn't sure if it was something I was 'supposed' to do...but it just made the experience so much better. Whether I was in a coffeeshop with Sarah Boettcher, or on the sidewalk of Taborstrasse with Sidonia...I was having coffee with a friend. 

Flash forward to today......

I spent the entire morning-from 10 till 2:30-in the magistrate office because my three months to be here without a visa (waiting for my residence permit to go through) are up next week. I went to check on my papers. BAD NEWS...I NEED PRAYERS. The people in the USA gave me the wrong application, thus I have to fill out a new application and need three more different papers to be sent from the America as well. Then when all those are recived by the office and they take their time to make sure everything is in order, they then have to send all the information to another office and I must wait for the final decision from this second office as to whether or not I can have a residence permit. Guess what that means...I have to leave Austria (and in fact all the Schengen countries aka the EU or so) by the 14th....and I have to leave for THREE MONTHS before I can come back, or until they grant me a residence permit. To my embarrassment I left the office crying. I am completely humbled by how much the Lord must love me to send me all these trials in which I can in turn prove my love. To bad I am so unfaithful of a servant. I just breakdown and cry haha. Well, so thats why I need prayers. and of course I will keep you updated. I dont know what is the next step for me, especially in Heart's Home...am I to go to another land? only for three months and then come back to Vienna or to finish my time of mission? or go to USA and wait it out? so many questions....so many reservations, fears, etc. So much of myself trying to say, "Ok God, whatever you want. I won't worry." but that is difficult...thus I expect all of you to be sending your prayers my way :) 

But this story becomes beautiful...

I forgot my key to the apartment after the magistrat, so I decided to go to see if Sidonia was in her spot today. And once again, with the sun shining I plopped down next to her, gave her two big kisses on each cheek and unfortunately left a trace of tears where my cheek brushed against hers. Her eyes did all the asking..."Why are you crying." I pretended it was the wind and asked her how her day has been. She immediately began to tell me how she has to go back to Romania on the 28th of March and she can't come back for another 3 or 4 months. She is so sad and not sure how she is going to take care of her boys. She made no money today and has nothing to feed them tonight. We then talked about her sons, the youngest one is getting better and better everyday. I asked her about her husband...she said that when the youngest who is now around a year old, was only two months, her husband left her for another woman. Compassion flooded my heart and eyes and she smiled and said its ok. She didn't cry, but I just reached out to hold her hand (which was much warmer than mine and that surprised her haha). Then I told her that I must go away too. That I have to go back to my homeland and cannot come back for another 3 months or so...and being not a strong as her, tears filled my eyes and I found myself crying on the side of the street with the only friend I could find in Vienna to talk to. She squeezed my hand, and then took both of her hands around my face and kissed my forehead, and then hugged me. She said everything would be fine, I smiled and said yes, and pointed up to the sky. Then with her eyes sparkling and a smile crossing her face she said, you must come tonight to my house and play with my boys. We are going on retreat tonight and for the weekend in Bratislava so I had to turn down the invitation...but I said I would come to visit her at 2 on Monday to tell her when I would be leaving and to give her the picture of Alina and I that she requested to have before she goes back to Romania. She said simply..."Ich bin deine mutter, bruder, ja. ich vergesse dich nicht." We are friends, we are family. And I will miss her. I will miss Vienna. I am scared of what is next. 

Upon coming back to the apartment I read this quote...Faith is not meant to be a comfort blanket.… It is a strenuous call to engage all we are with the Father of Jesus. ~Sister Wendy on Prayer by Sister Wendy Beckett

i think thats enough for today. time to go on retreat. 

ill pray for you. please pray for me.