yes. i know. how could such important things from August be let until February....shame on me. but don't worry. I wont be leaving any detail out....i'll start from the very beginning of a story that has turned into a beloved history, 5 women/girls who have turned into family.
Part One:
"My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together." -Desmond Tutu
In August, Alina and I took a German course! It helped a lot (now if only I kept studying on my own!) but I learned so much more than how to build conditional sentences than I was expecting.
During a break one day, I went on a walk with three of the women from my course, one of which was N, a woman from Pakistan who has been living here in Vienna for three years or so. We got to talking--you know how women are--and by the end of the class, N was inviting me over for dinner--she absolutely wanted me to meet her daughters! We walked to the bus that afternoon, her telling me all about her girls, and me promising that we would find a free evening soon!
The next week N invited me to dinner at 7pm, but since it was Ramadan (fasting period for Muslims) we were not allowed to eat until 8pm when they break their fast. N has two daughters--R who is 10 and A who is 9. Another woman named S and her daughter :I: (who is 2) live with N in her apartment. N started to explain who S was after class one day, but then we got cut off. As far as I understood--S is also a wife of N's husband, whom she is actually in the process of divorcing. N is from the 2nd largest city in Pakistan and she speaks Urdu with S and the girls when they don't want me to understand what they are saying....otherwise we speak English just because it is easier.
When I arrived, N was out with little Irena on a walk, so I sat and talked with S and the girls. I was so astounded--I was treated like a queen! I have never experienced such respect for guests before, and to see the two girls treating me so and serving me so and speaking with me so (and it being completely NORMAL for them...without the poking and prodding of S or N) --I was completely dumbfounded. It was not a distant, fear-filled respect or forced kind of behavior, but one so welcoming and loving--as if they just wanted to do everything for you to make you the happiest you could be, because only when you were happy, they were happy. As N explained to me later, respect and serving guests in this way is so important to their culture. Even when bringing someone a drink, you learn from childhood on that you never touch the glass yourself--you always bring it on a tray--otherwise, it is impolite. But to follow these traditions and cultures not begrudgingly, but so full of love was something totally different! At one point, A and I were playing UNO before dinner and R brought me a glass of water....on a tray...to which I responded--"You two make me feel like an absolute Queen!" and R answered--"Good! Because you are! You are our new sister, but first a queen." And so it was...within the first 15 minutes I was no longer a foreign guest, but a sister and a queen!
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| A and R |
S explained to me what Ramadan is, how it is celebrated and lived, and the symbolism of each little aspect. The philosophy and spirituality behind it all. She also explained every little thing we did involved in their customs, for which I was super thankful. It was so beautiful to be included, but also to be learning at the same time. For example--they always break their fast directly at 8pm after having had absolutely NOTHING to eat or drink since 4am. And they break it by eating a Date. Everything they eat, and in what order they eat has meaning! All the while, to be with them, feeling so welcome as I would in my own family, I was so filled with joy! To be invited wholly into their lives, not as a stranger but already as a sister was something I had no yet experienced in the Austrian culture which is usually at first meeting distant, formal, and closed. Here, I was instantly adopted!
After dinner N, A and I went for a walk while S and R said their prayers. N couldn't fast this Ramadan for several reasons, but a major one being her work schedule. I'm rendered speechless as I discover little by little the beautiful, quiet, humble strength of this woman. She works from 6pm until 6am in a workshop preparing the meal trays for airline catering, then she sleeps for an hour before going to the German course we take together, and then maybe sleeps for 3 more hours after the course in the afternoon. Her patience outlasts her fatigue and the joy is never wiped from her eyes, even if they are encircled by dark circles from lack of sleep. During our walk, N went to a friends house to pick something up and A and I walked up and down the streets talking. N is worried about her because of the influence of the other kids at school and her great lean towards the dramatic, materialistic, and disrespectful aspects of modern society rather than the richness of the respectful culture and religious tradition in Pakistan. She really asked me to befriend A and spend time with her because she needs a good influence. Especially since N can't be around so often, or is especially worn out.
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| A |
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